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Some of My Own Journey

August 13, 2009 — Leave a comment

<image courtesy of Mykl Roventine>

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My Grandma used to have a little plaque on one of the walls in the room I slept in when visiting her. On it was the cartoon image of a teddy bear riding a rocking horse with the following phrase written out in script:

Faith Isn’t Faith Until It’s All You’re Holding Onto.

How I’ve grown to loath that little plaque.

Mostly because it had some level of truth in it and I find myself wanting the kind of faith that is soft and fluffy and convenient and doesn’t cost anything but gives everything.

But I guess that wouldn’t be ‘faith’ so much as ‘looking to be coddled.’

It’s said that when you read something, you learn more about the person doing the writing than whatever subject presented. If that’s the case, it’s probably pretty obvious by looking at the central theme of my blog posts as of late that my (and Sarah’s!) journey has focused a lot on (re)learning what faith is and how it needs to be playing out in our lives right now.

At the beginning of May, we felt pretty clearly led by God’s Spirit to leave my then-current position as pastor of Carlisle Wesleyan. There were quite a few ways we were led to that decision, but it sure didn’t make it any easier to ‘pull the trigger’ by signing a resignation letter with no ‘next step’ clearly outlined.

Since that time, I’ve been Mr. Applicant—applying to job after job after job in the ‘non-churchy’ world and looking at various potential opportunities in the church world. Long story short: I’m still very unemployed. We’ve received clear “don’t go there” leadings from the Holy Spirit with ministry opportunities, and haven’t garnered a lot of interest with organizations wanting a twenty-something minister to come work for their company in another role.

There have been moments when it’s been tempting to despair, but what I find amazing is the continued sense of God’s presence with us. Though nothing is clear about tomorrow, we have had a deep sense of peace and comfort. I told someone the other day that I know me and how I ‘should be’ reacting to where we are: freaking out in a way that makes “going postal” look like a group of church ladies scrapbooking in the basement on a Thursday night. But I’m not. We’re just trusting.

We have nothing to hold on to but the God who is leading us. We have nothing to cling to but our Father. So, we’re choosing to have the same trust a small child has in their parent–that the parent will do everything they said they would, and that we, as those children, are safe, secure, and able to rest knowing our Father has everything taken care of.

So here we are: without any crown of success or example of personal greatness; humbled and waiting. We’re learning what it is to ‘hold on’ without knowing the length of the wait or what we’re even waiting FOR. We’re learning what faith is in a way that, in the reality of other situations faced by many, isn’t a very big mountain at all… but to us seems huge. We’re learning in this comparatively small way, what it is to live a life that really isn’t our own.

For the record, though, I still hate that stupid plaque.

In Uncategorized faith, personal

Question: Have I Waited?

August 12, 2009 — 2 Comments

<image courtesy of wallyg>

We’ve been asking the question of how to know when to take steps of faith—and finding answers by asking other questions.

The first questions was “Are First things First”

Another question worth asking is the same as the title for this post:

HAVE I WAITED?

The people of Israel are getting ready to cross the Jordan River in order to begin conquering the land promised them in generations past. God has instructed them to cross the flooded Jordan. It’s obvious that this is the only next step from a strategic and logistical perspective.

Josh 3:

² After three days the officers went throughout the camp, ³ giving orders to the people: “When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the Levitical priests carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it. ⁴ Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before. But keep a distance of about two thousand cubits between you and the ark; do not go near it.”

⁵ Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.”

Even though they could see the land which was theirs; even though they knew what needed to be done to cross; even though everything was ‘obvious’ regarding next steps… everybody waited. For three days.

But those three days weren’t spent idly—there was a purpose in the waiting: the people were preparing themselves for what was ahead. Their journey wasn’t over yet, and though the land across the Jordan had been promised, it wouldn’t become theirs without a long and hard-fought military campaign. Mostly, though, they were waiting because they were going to be used by God (in a number of ways—but Scripture indicates that Israel was going to be used by God to execute his judgment on other nations and to bring his message).

A very important term in the above passage is ‘consecrate’—the same term used in reference to the Tabernacle… a very special place that only few could enter. The idea is something that is being set apart. The ‘translation’ of the instruction for the people is this: “God is going to use you, and you need to be ready,” or, “God is going to do something huge, and he wants you to get prepared.”

I know it’s been said before, but it bears repeating: our steps of faith have much less to do with us than they do with what God desires to do through us for his Name and the advancement of his Kingdom.

Again, for Joshua and the Israelites, there was no doubt what their next step was. But there was also no doubt that this same ‘next step’ was impossible if God wasn’t in it. They waited.

It’s a good lesson to learn, but not necessarily an easy leason to grasp. Before you leap—ask yourself if you’ve waited or if you’re moving impulsively. The truth is, God doesn’t lead is to our next step without preparing us first (not forgetting, of course, that he can, and often does, prepare us for ‘what’s next’ without us knowing that’s what is going on). What are you doing right now to allow yourself to be prepared? How are you taking time to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit? Are you faithful in the here-and-now? Are you serving faithfully where you are with what you have?

As counterintuitive as it may seem, sometimes the greatest act of faith is in the waiting rather than the stepping.

In Joshua courage, faith, Joshua

Question: Have I Put First Things First?

August 10, 2009 — 1 Comment

<Image courtesy of aschaeffer>
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We’re answering the question of “How do I know when to take that leap of faith?” with a series of other questions found in Joshua chapter 3.

The Ark of the covenant is mentioned NINE TIMES in Joshua 3—and until now, it hasn’t been mentioned at all in the book. Remember, the Ark is a sign and symbol of God’s presence with his people and serves as a war standard going before them. Here’s what we find in the chapter:

When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God…

…keep a distance of about two thousand cubits between you and the ark…

Joshua said to the priests, ‘take up the ark of the covenant…’

Tell the priests who carry the ark of the covenant

See, the ark of the covenant of the LORD of all the earth will go into the Jordan ahead of you.

…the priests who carry the ark of the LORD…

…As soon as the priests who carried the ark…

…the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD

It’s pretty obvious that the presence, leadership, and symbol of God going before his people was paramount to those about to cross the Jordan river. There was something significant to Joshua and the nation about having the Ark present and going before the people–everything in its proper order. Before we take steps of faith, the giver of faith needs to be foremost in our lives.

There’s an old recipe for rabbit stew that begins, “First, catch the rabbit…” When it comes to exercising faith, it’s important to make sure first things really are first. Otherwise, it’s kind of like trying to make rabbit stew without the main ingredient.

First things first for us means that God is the one leading us—and we aren’t being led by our own desires for promotion, comfort, recognition, safety, or complacency. It’s also important to note that church is not the same thing as God (though, I’m all for an incarnational understanding of being Christ). It’s possible to be the busiest most churchified person you know and not really have first things first. You can be religious without following God.

But if we are in Christ and he is in the place of prominence in our lives, we know we have his leadership, his comfort, his direction, his hope all in the pursuit of his Kingdom.

If we take a step of faith without having first things first, it’s probably not a step of faith at all, but is more likely an exercise in the worship of self. That isn’t a risk worth taking.

In Joshua church, faith, Joshua, Scripture

Is That Enough?

August 5, 2009 — Leave a comment

As the story of Rahab and the spies in Joshua 2 continues, we get a deeper look at what faith is… perhaps gaining a perspective that isn’t celebrated as much as it should be.

The story continues and indicates that faith is obedience. In a world where belief and obedience can be two very separate entities, the Scriptures indicated belief without obedience is simply folly. We see faith play out as obedience for the spies and Rahab both.

For the spies:
Going into the land would have been a pointedly obedient act—they would have had knowledge of the last time an expedition had been made into the land and would recall the resulting report—

Num 13 (TNIV)

³¹ But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” ³² And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. ³³ We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”

Entering into the land was an act of obedience—allowing their belief that the land was theirs from God and He was indeed leading them to play out in action, even though that meant life might get messy.

Most of us will only believe/obey someone or something if we have a well-rounded understanding of who is directing us or what it is that we will be obeying in. The spies had that—they had been travelling in the desert where they had been recipients of supernatural food, of leadership in the form of fire pillars and clouds, and had been directed by the very prominent human leader of their people.

But Rahab didn’t have any of this well-rounded understanding of what it meant to obey. Her obedience comes from an incomplete picture… and this, I believe, is part of why she is seen as a woman of great faith:

Josh 2

⁸ Before the spies lay down for the night, she went up on the roof ⁹ and said to them, “I know that the LORD has given this land to you and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. ¹⁰ We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. ¹¹ When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.

¹² “Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign ¹³ that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them—and that you will save us from death.”

There’s no indication here that Rahab has ‘converted’ (for more on this, see The IVP Bible Background Commentary, which is one of my very favorite resources). Simply put, she has found someone stronger than her deities, someone that she knows she should be afraid of… and she asks for help.

In the passage, note how she asks the spies to swear by the LORD. “LORD” in capitals means the Hebrew word there is YHWH; the sacred name of God. Get this: all Rahab knew was God’s name and that he is strong. Rahab risks her life for the lives of the spies… and would be obedient in what they later instruct her to do even though she only knows a little part of what is going on.

There are times when we can relate very well to Rahab: we find our heart ‘melting in fear’ because of what we’re facing. And in those situations we think, ‘I don’t have faith enough.’ In those times, it is especially important to remember that all we really need to know is his name (he invites us to call him ‘Father’) and to recognize his strength, allowing this knowledge to fuel our belief and obedience.

But here’s something even more incredible: Rahab’s great faith points to Jesus by pointing us to his redemptive activity. We do not celebrate Rahab because of Rahab or because of her obedience, but because of the testimony her life is of God’s activity and hope. In the same way, our ‘great faith’ isn’t about us but about the Giver of faith—the one to whom all obedience is due.

Great faith is seen in obedience even when we don’t understand. It’s seen in obedience even when ‘obedience’ means doing something messy. But I am comforted to know ‘great faith’ can mean calling out for help even as my heart melts in fear. My prayer is that I would be a man of great faith both when I understand and when I don’t; that I would be a man of great faith when I am facing the impossible; that I would be obedient in the ‘big’ things and in those that seem insignificant.

Today, I am facing the impossible. Today, my heart wants to melt in fear. Today, it seems that tomorrow will never come. Today, I don’t know what my obedience will mean.

But I know His Name and that He is strong. And, today, that is enough.

In Joshua Encouragement, faith, history, Joshua

What a Mess!

August 1, 2009 — 7 Comments

Image from iboy_daniel

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I’ve been walking through the book of Joshua here on the ol’ blog and at this point we’re looking at chapter two as a bit of a case study on ‘faith’ (since Rahab, a central character in this passage is heralded later as an example of great faith and this is part of God’s story of keeping his promise to his people).

Taking that ball and running with it, we don’t have to go very far in the Scripture (or in life!) to discover that faith is messy/uncomfortable. I think we see that in a couple of aspects within this story:

First:

¹ Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.

² The king of Jericho was told, “Look! Some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land.” ³ So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.” ⁴ But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. ⁵ At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, they left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them. (Joshua 2:1-5, TNIV)

Later in the story, Rahab indicates she has heard of the power of the God of Israel and is showing favor to the two spies because of her own fear of this powerful God. In doing so, she commits a treasonous act against the city-state government of Jericho. I don’t think she would have described this situation in any way as ‘comfortable’ or even all that enjoyable. She lies to the authorities in order to hide the two men spying for Joshua and misdirects those same authorities’ search efforts. Don’t think this is a small thing: if found out, Rahab would have been confronted with the business end of a rock or some other ancient tool of execution. Faith is messy.

Now, this next part isn’t exegetically sound—but I believe much of this passage is seeing God active in redemption & faith. Understanding this passage as an exercise in faith helps us to view the messiness of faith from a different perspective: the spies’.

The spies are two men who have been wandering the desert for years with their fellow Israelites. In the forty years God has been leading these people, there is one major theme that’s been retold, reiterated, and reinforced: God is holy and sin cannot be tolerated in his camp.

First order of business: approaching a prostitute at night. The ‘why’ seems obvious—it’s nighttime and you need a place to stay. Who is up at night and conducting business? Members of the world’s Oldest Profession, that’s who… and I’m not talking about bakers. Two men, likely chosen for their integrity and passion for the things of God & Israel (there had been a problem with sending spies into the land before, resulting in a forty-day journey lasting forty years… Joshua wasn’t going to risk the same problems again), have to spend the night in the home of a prostitute. If you don’t think that might be a little uncomfortable, you’ve never faced a decision where necessity and integrity seem to exist in tension.

These spies are an interesting hiding spot as the authorities search them out:

(But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) (Joshua 1:6, TNIV)

Stalks of flax are laid out on the roof to dry after they have been soaking for awhile (sometimes the better part of a month) in water so the different fibers can be separated and woven together to make different kinds of things like linen and rope. That may not sound so bad, but imagine hiding underneath a pile of wet nastiness that has been soaking for weeks in water full of putrescence and reek. Imagine trying to ‘hide’ in a pile of pig slop and you can imagine the ‘yuck’ factor involved here.

Faith is messy.

Rahab’s desperate request to the spies for help and rescue. Messy.

The spies hiding in rank dampness. Messy.

Sacrificing home and future. Messy.

Somehow we’ve gotten this idea that faith is ‘easy’ and that our lives should immediately find a pain free, straightforward existence when faith is involved. But that isn’t the case. The fact is, faith is uncomfortable and at times can be very hard.

Is it possible that the very uncomfortable, seemingly ‘desperate’ thing you’re facing is God’s opportunity for you to become more of a person of faith? I don’t know what that is for you–maybe you’re being drawn to really follow Jesus; maybe it’s stepping into a major change, move, or job transition; perhaps it’s ending an inappropriate relationship; or it could be something not so huge but just as difficult, like asking for help.

God has already equipped you to endure the uncomfortable, and even tells us faith is a gift from him. You can do this—just recognize it won’t be easy… and it might be a little messy. But it’ll be worth it.